The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
