Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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