Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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