I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
