I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize