nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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