Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
