bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You ate ashes out of my bong
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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