i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
