We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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