No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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