I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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