butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
