I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
