Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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