ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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