My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
