Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
