Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
