of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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