her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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