At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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