the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
