you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
