i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
