just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
