I heard we made out
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
