I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize