I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
