You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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