my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
