a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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