The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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