hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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