im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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