$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
