I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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