How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Randomize
