$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
