I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
