if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
