Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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