You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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