I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize