She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
