Please, let me fuck your mom
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
