I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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