if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize