we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
