what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
