Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
