JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
