Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.