Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
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He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
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Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier