actually, I'm a sock model
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
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I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man