Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks

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  (901): Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks http://tfl.nu/a6p7
  Replies (9) Good night (720) Bad night (1939)
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  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (131) Good night (8571) Bad night (24101)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.

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  (519): Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten. http://tfl.nu/vjjo
  Replies (24) Good night (5081) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had

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  (480): we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had http://tfl.nu/e6dk
  Replies (16) Good night (4825) Bad night (919)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.

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  (309): Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me. http://tfl.nu/c51e
  Replies (7) Good night (1098) Bad night (2188)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.

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  (781): Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days. http://tfl.nu/ccfk
  Replies (10) Good night (1881) Bad night (1045)
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  (347): View more from New York

  They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me

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  (347): They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me http://tfl.nu/nbj5
  Replies (4) Good night (1352) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.

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  (573): I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days. (573): Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven. http://tfl.nu/oqxt
  Replies (7) Good night (1215) Bad night (567)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.

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  (425): She had caution tape on her head and she blew me. http://tfl.nu/1dhj
  Replies (8) Good night (1536) Bad night (495)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"

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  (406): after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers" http://tfl.nu/5du2
  Replies (2) Good night (1049) Bad night (397)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.

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  (614): I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time. http://tfl.nu/ekmz
  Replies (8) Good night (1199) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see

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  (503): i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours (1-503): I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see http://tfl.nu/4plr
  Replies (5) Good night (417) Bad night (222)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are

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  (518): I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are http://tfl.nu/esmd
  Replies (0) Good night (534) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.

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  (812): She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/w90g
  Replies (2) Good night (833) Bad night (210)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.

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  (970): Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/0i73
  Replies (3) Good night (522) Bad night (272)

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