Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors

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  (978): just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors http://tfl.nu/9psa
  Replies (65) Good night (16983) Bad night (1524)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.

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  (402): I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had. http://tfl.nu/opb7
  Replies (54) Good night (10098) Bad night (934)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week

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  (248): You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week http://tfl.nu/vksd
  Replies (5) Good night (4541) Bad night (853)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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  (301): The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football" http://tfl.nu/o0mi
  Replies (19) Good night (5289) Bad night (1052)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools

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  (301): Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools http://tfl.nu/2rog
  Replies (2) Good night (3348) Bad night (843)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.

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  (703): I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks. http://tfl.nu/40kn
  Replies (3) Good night (1693) Bad night (618)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...

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  (434): Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave... http://tfl.nu/1k20
  Replies (13) Good night (2555) Bad night (941)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON

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  (314): Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON http://tfl.nu/vk77
  Replies (6) Good night (1270) Bad night (701)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

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  (901): I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/oaek
  Replies (6) Good night (1500) Bad night (607)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you know how to give stiches?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I do not...this text concerns me

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  (612): Do you know how to give stiches? (1-612): I do not...this text concerns me http://tfl.nu/8jm1
  Replies (5) Good night (1812) Bad night (695)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ... That's a shower caddy.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.

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  (541): You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever! (503): ... That's a shower caddy. (541): I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation. http://tfl.nu/svbx
  Replies (11) Good night (3462) Bad night (815)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.

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  (+44): How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic. http://tfl.nu/9kr6
  Replies (12) Good night (1131) Bad night (1021)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that

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  (425): It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that http://tfl.nu/4xxj
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (369)
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  (408): View more from California

  this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it

  (408): View more from California

  its winning. its definitely happening

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  (408): this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it (408): its winning. its definitely happening http://tfl.nu/yixq
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (425)
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  (661): View more from California

  my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework

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  (661): my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework http://tfl.nu/653l
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (454)

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