i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.