just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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