She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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