I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
