Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
