I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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