so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
