I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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