Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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