I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
